Forgive my doubt

Forgive my doubt
by Joel Howard

I have, like Zacchaeus 
stingy been

I have, like him
Made enemies of men

Squandering my joy
Loving my own life
Holding my doubt
Hating others inside

Can you forgive 
God, how stingy I've been?
Hoping my own accumulation
Can give me
What I need for the journey ahead
I lay down now my life
Choose to give now instead
So forgive my doubt
My doubt, my doubt, my doubt

So forgive my doubt

If I have squandered
Held back
If I have owned my own gift
Said it is mine
And withheld it

If fruit I foresaw
Then prevented
and hid
So as to self preserve
I repent of it

If I have stayed home
When you called me out
God forgive my doubt
Please forgive my doubt

If I a child have stayed
When father I should have been
If could have giv'n
Yet held back instead
God forgive my sin
God forgive now it

Cover me with 
The freedom you have
Giving not to get
Loving not to get

Forgive me Father when
I like devils have been
Cringing at the normal
Longing for the Big

Grant me grace where I
Could have properly died
Yet chose to sin survive

Grant me peace where
I grieved you once before

God forgive my doubt

Let me 'stead generous live now

Pay back 4 times
Where I had kept in prior life

Zacchaeus, here I am
Next to you, friend
Short in stature

But Jesus rushed in
Hurried me to
Join at my table
Broke my heart in two

Saved my whole family
Changed all the game
Gave generosity 
As my new name

Where I once held back
Jesus, you did
What I always dreaded
Begged me to give

Exampled your love
Saw me, good Friend
So now I give back
Lord, all of it

Forgiven and now
Free of my sin!

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