An old book

An old book
by Joel Howard

In a vision I saw an old, dusty book
An ancient, rugged book
Dropped in my hands
It felt heavy and weighty
I didn't know what it was
I hadn't opened it yet
But it was mine

Like the picture you gave me
Last week similarly
You handed me your heart
And told me to go deep

Today I'm reminded of the cross
That Jesus had to bear
It was handed, likewise to him, 
Dusty and big, 
Cold and ruddy
The cross that was yours to bear

So I'm ending today with a book in my hands
With your heart in my hands, with ancient love
I'm carrying a book here with me
Its dark and its dusty, its old
Not glamorous or new
Not a New York Times bestseller
Not having even won an award
That's your book
You've dropped in my lap, in my hands
This anthology
This heavenly letter, its mine

It feels heavy and sorrowful
Not rated for children
Not even PG-13
It has murder, adultery, sorcery, immorality
Theft and the cruelest of cruel
This book that you've dropped to me
Will not depart from me
It will become one with me
As I write it on my mind, on my hands

As I post it throughout my whole house
And my children and wife
Will know all He demands
This grace is a heavy grace
This kindness a costly one
This meekness a deadly one too

You are speaking to me 
Of the book that we read
Of the pages we daily go chew
It is not sugarcoated, not seeker friendly
Its alive and its weighty, its real
Its the cross I must bear
Its the way I get there
It is every step in between

Jesus himself inspired it
God knows we need it
To my world I will carry it, weeping
It contains all the promises
Notes and footnotes, 
Everything in it to behold

Not a bright, shiny book
Not a friendly child's tale
A sword, a dagger, meant to divide
Each man, each woman, all humble children
This book is not dead, its alive

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