An old book

An old book

by Joel Howard

In a vision I saw an old, dusty book

An ancient, rugged book

Dropped in my hands

It felt heavy and weighty

I didn't know what it was

I hadn't opened it yet

But it was mine

Like the picture you gave me

Last week similarly

You handed me your heart

And told me to go deep

Today I'm reminded of the cross

That Jesus had to bear

It was handed, likewise to him, 

Dusty and big, 

Cold and ruddy

The cross that was yours to bear

So I'm ending today with a book in my hands

With your heart in my hands, with ancient love

I'm carrying a book here with me

Its dark and its dusty, its old

Not glamorous or new

Not a New York Times bestseller

Not having even won an award

That's your book

You've dropped in my lap, in my hands

This anthology

This heavenly letter, its mine

It feels heavy and sorrowful

Not rated for children

Not even PG-13

It has murder, adultery, sorcery, immorality

Theft and the cruelest of cruel

This book that you've dropped to me

Will not depart from me

It will become one with me

As I write it on my mind, on my hands

As I post it throughout my whole house

And my children and wife

Will know all He demands

This grace is a heavy grace

This kindness a costly one

This meekness a deadly one too

You are speaking to me 

Of the book that we read

Of the pages we daily go chew

It is not sugarcoated, not seeker friendly

Its alive and its weighty, its real

Its the cross I must bear

Its the way I get there

It is every step in between

Jesus himself inspired it

God knows we need it

To my world I will carry it, weeping

It contains all the promises

Notes and footnotes, 

Everything in it to behold

Not a bright, shiny book

Not a friendly child's tale

A sword, a dagger, meant to divide

Each man, each woman, all humble children

This book is not dead, its alive